Stranger in the mirror

Have you ever got the feeling that you are looking at a stranger when you look at the mirror? Of lately, this is what I feel. The face staring back at me is not the one I am used to. It looks different, yet familiar in a strange way. I liked to look at my reflection a lot (who doesn't?), but not anymore. This is not the person whom I once identified with. This is not the boy with that glint in his eyes. The boy who is always thinking of a prank to pull on others. I guess I am changing. And change is something I never liked. I hate to get out of my comfort zone. But I have to, unless I want to stay in this same sorry state. As I struggle to come into terms with my new identity, I contemplate on my past successes and failures, and I think fondly of them. Every one of them was a lesson, a stepping stone, on my path which has led me here. There are so many more such experiences to savour as I move forward. I just hope some bad events in the past won't scare me or hold me back from enjoying a full life in the future.

Dream Career

I have often wondered what career I will choose next if I leave this blood sucking IT industry. There are quite a few interesting possibilities that come to my mind. But the one that shines out best is 'erotic story writer'. That too one specializing in sex at the workplace. This is because I already have lots of such fantasies going on through my mind, and it will be easier for me to put them into writing than thinking up new ideas. Not that it is difficult for me. I can spin out erotic stories on the fly. But I have always believed in the motto 'Less work, more pay'. So I will write about sex at work.

I don't know what my female colleagues will think if they chance upon this blog. Will they think of me as some kind of psycho? Or will they just shrug it off saying that all guys are like this? I really don't know. But I can assure them that I am not the only person with these things in my mind. Most guys are like me. But What I will truly like to know is whether the ladies also have these feelings. Do they dream about the guys? Some of them may dream about their boyfriends. But what I mean is, do they have raw sexual dreams? I sure would like to find out :)

PS: This was written when I was in a freaked out mood. Anyone who thinks this is for real is a real duffer.

A Summer Night's Dream

I had a strange dream last night. I dreamed that I was a serial killer. Usually people forget their dreams soon after waking up. But I can still vividly recall some parts of the dream. In my dream I started killing my project mates one by one. I was able to hide the bodies successfully every time till I killed ********* (name withheld). This time my plans went awry and I had to leave the body. It was soon discovered and the hunt for the killer was on. I tried to escape, but finally they realized I was the killer. Just before they caught me, I woke up. Boy, was I glad to know that it was just a dream. I was sweating profusely, and not just because it was a hot night. If you think its disturbing, you have no idea how much it scared me.
The dream was not unlike the many video games I have played that glorified violence and death. And there were some similarities to the "I know what you did last summer" type of movies. Possibly they influenced me to have this dream. But I felt strange. What if these were not the only reason I had this dream? What if I really had these thoughts in my sub conscious mind? Is it just me, or are there a lot of others like me out there? Agreed, humans are unique in many aspects. But I am not convinced that I am alone in this. And that made me even more scared. I could be living in the midst of psychopaths. And I thank God for whatever it is that keeps them from carrying out their dreams.

The Mush Effect

This is my attempt at writing a mushy blog. I am not liable if you puke after reading this. Hehehe

Can you hear my voice
Do you hear my song
Its a serenade
So your heart can find me
And suddenly you're flying down the steps
Into my arms

Dress sense of people

How do people decide what to wear on a day? Here I am concentrating only on the dress sense of folks coming to office as it is the environment most familiar to me now. Usually I decide on the morning of each day and then iron my dress. But there are some people who stick to a routine. For instance, I know a certain PM in my office who wears only a particular color on a day. And so far he has never broken his habit.

These kinds of behaviour fascinate me and once I did a small research on it. It was nothing much. I used to observe a female colleague (at least, make my research interesting. Hence my reason for not using a guy as my subject ;) ). After a few months (yes, I tenaciously collected data!) I had the list of all the dresses she would wear to office. And I was able to predict what dress she would wear on a day with an accuracy of around 75%. This led me to the conclusion that people don't select their dresses in a completely random manner. Of course, there are several factors that come into play here, forcing them into a routine. Even then there are lots of different decisions they can take on a given day. Still somewhere in the back of their minds, something prompts them to select a particular dress.

My next research was finding what that was. But, alas, I could not continue it. Too much other stuff came up my way. But I may resume it someday. Do I sound cranky?

Tainted for life

Last week, for the first time in my life, I used the paid company bus service. Normally I avoid it like the black plague. I had previously argued (with proof) that people who use company bus are idiotic complacent morons. And majority of the people who heard my irrefutable argument had agreed with me. Or was it because I was drunk senseless and there was no point in correcting me? I am not sure, but that was one debate I won hands down. Back to the topic in hand: It was not my idea to use the bus, rather I was forced to do it. And if there was any way to avoid it, I would have done it. Sadly, the circumstances were against me and I had to comply.

The damage is done. The perfect track record I had maintained for so long now lies destroyed. How can I now look at the face of my compatriots who equally hate the company bus? As I piece together what little is left of my fallen dignity, I swear the solemn oath to never take the bus again. But the truth can never be hidden, and I cannot change history. I am tainted for life.

Why I write this blog

Nowadays, anyone with a computer and an internet connection can write a blog. And that's exactly what I am doing. In fact I expect this trend to continue till everybody without a blog will be considered as sick losers. The ones who will be like a stain on the underpants of the society. Obviously I don't want to be part of that group.

Now, I have no misconceptions about the publicity of this blog. The only regular reader here is probably me. Still that won't keep me from publishing more and more completely useless information. That is because human beings like to talk a lot and listen as little as possible. Its the most instrinsic behaviour. And since I really belong to homo sapiens species (some of you, stop laughing), its only natural that I act like this.

Having said so, I will lay down the basic rules that I will follow when writing my future blogs. I will maintain a cynical and largely sadistic view of the world. And I will insult and make fun of anything and anyone I don't like. And if you don't like it, I suggest you go home and start writing your own blog. That's all, I will be back!!