Stranger in the mirror

Have you ever got the feeling that you are looking at a stranger when you look at the mirror? Of lately, this is what I feel. The face staring back at me is not the one I am used to. It looks different, yet familiar in a strange way. I liked to look at my reflection a lot (who doesn't?), but not anymore. This is not the person whom I once identified with. This is not the boy with that glint in his eyes. The boy who is always thinking of a prank to pull on others. I guess I am changing. And change is something I never liked. I hate to get out of my comfort zone. But I have to, unless I want to stay in this same sorry state. As I struggle to come into terms with my new identity, I contemplate on my past successes and failures, and I think fondly of them. Every one of them was a lesson, a stepping stone, on my path which has led me here. There are so many more such experiences to savour as I move forward. I just hope some bad events in the past won't scare me or hold me back from enjoying a full life in the future.

Dream Career

I have often wondered what career I will choose next if I leave this blood sucking IT industry. There are quite a few interesting possibilities that come to my mind. But the one that shines out best is 'erotic story writer'. That too one specializing in sex at the workplace. This is because I already have lots of such fantasies going on through my mind, and it will be easier for me to put them into writing than thinking up new ideas. Not that it is difficult for me. I can spin out erotic stories on the fly. But I have always believed in the motto 'Less work, more pay'. So I will write about sex at work.

I don't know what my female colleagues will think if they chance upon this blog. Will they think of me as some kind of psycho? Or will they just shrug it off saying that all guys are like this? I really don't know. But I can assure them that I am not the only person with these things in my mind. Most guys are like me. But What I will truly like to know is whether the ladies also have these feelings. Do they dream about the guys? Some of them may dream about their boyfriends. But what I mean is, do they have raw sexual dreams? I sure would like to find out :)

PS: This was written when I was in a freaked out mood. Anyone who thinks this is for real is a real duffer.

A Summer Night's Dream

I had a strange dream last night. I dreamed that I was a serial killer. Usually people forget their dreams soon after waking up. But I can still vividly recall some parts of the dream. In my dream I started killing my project mates one by one. I was able to hide the bodies successfully every time till I killed ********* (name withheld). This time my plans went awry and I had to leave the body. It was soon discovered and the hunt for the killer was on. I tried to escape, but finally they realized I was the killer. Just before they caught me, I woke up. Boy, was I glad to know that it was just a dream. I was sweating profusely, and not just because it was a hot night. If you think its disturbing, you have no idea how much it scared me.
The dream was not unlike the many video games I have played that glorified violence and death. And there were some similarities to the "I know what you did last summer" type of movies. Possibly they influenced me to have this dream. But I felt strange. What if these were not the only reason I had this dream? What if I really had these thoughts in my sub conscious mind? Is it just me, or are there a lot of others like me out there? Agreed, humans are unique in many aspects. But I am not convinced that I am alone in this. And that made me even more scared. I could be living in the midst of psychopaths. And I thank God for whatever it is that keeps them from carrying out their dreams.